Coping With Those Bad Days

The last few weeks were rather rough for me, and I have been wondering what was different that caused them to feel so challenging? What could have helped me to get through the day? I think a big part of it was the level of perceived support from others in my life was lower than what I normally feel.

I could probably have remedied the situation by simply asking for more support. Most of the time, the people who love us are perfectly willing to be there if we tell them we honestly need them to be. They cannot read our minds, though, and it actually shows a lot of strength and humility to know when we need help and to ask for it.

There are times when a friend is not available, so it is also good to have some back up ideas for when it is only up to you. The following article has some suggestions for simple methods of improving one's mood: http://health.yahoo.com/experts/drmao/6715/going-up-7-pointers-to-lift-a-bad-mood/. You may have some similar skills that already work for you. The trick is to make them readily accessible for those days when you are sitting at your desk about to cry!

Waist to Height Ratio vs BMI

If anyone has ever calculated her BMI, which only takes into account one's height and weight, it may have been frustrating that the BMI ignores gender and muscle mass. These factors make a huge difference in a person's perceived health. I'm sure we've all seen some female trainers at the gym who look rather thick because they are SOLID MUSCLE! If we look at these women's BMIs, they may border on the obese categorization, which is ridiculous.

Review this article about the Waist to Height Ratio: http://www.livestrong.com/article/93638-whtr-the-new-determinant-health-risk/. This hopefully will replace the BMI, as it more accurately calculates a person's health. Apparently the most dangerous area to carry one's weight is in the waist, which is why this measurement is more useful. This is unfortunate for those of us who happen to gain weight first in the waist region ("No I'm not pregnant; I just look like it when I gain weight!"). There is some wiggle room, though. There are more categorizations, such as basically 3 ranges of healthy weights, one for underweight, and 3 ranges for overweight. This at least feels better to look at than the BMI chart, in which one is either healthy or one of 3 labels for overweight.

Food Cravings

I thought I would share this blog post from Dr Judith Beck regarding what to do when food cravings surface:

"This past week, I met Jon socially, at a party. We had known each other slightly. He told me he had read my cognitive therapy books on dieting and wanted me to know which technique had helped him the most. It had been emailing his "diet buddy," when he was tempted to eat something he wasn't supposed to. With his permission, I cut and pasted below an old email he forwarded to me.

Okay, I really want to eat the pizza in the kitchen. Everyone (okay, not everyone) in the office is having some but I already had lunch. My sabotaging thoughts are back....It'll be okay. I'll make up for it later.
But I really know it's NOT okay. Not if my goal is to lose weight. I don't want to fall back in to the habit of eating extra food just because it's there. It's what I used to do.

Hey, it happened again. The craving went away as I was typing this email. I'm actually fine. I feel like...it'd be nice to eat the pizza. But I know I won't. Back to work.

It was important for Jon to email his diet buddy like this. After doing so about ten times in a row (over the course of several days), he really learned that cravings do go away. He doesn't have to eat. Now he doesn't need to email his diet buddy very often, either. He knows that telling himself, "No choice. I'm not eating this [food] I hadn't planned" and engaging in a compelling activity makes his cravings go away, every time."

I think we often have people that we ask for permission from when it comes to skipping a workout we know we really want to do or eating something we probably will regret. Perhaps we can start forging relationships with people who will support us in our healthier efforts and encourage us to avoid those donuts in the lunchroom, as opposed to saying "go for it, it's okay, you ate healthy yesterday."

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

There's not much I love more than Mexican food, so the idea of a day established to celebrate that culture and cuisine, sounds awesome to me. Then the questions arises, if I go out tonight, how do I make it an experience I do not regret tomorrow? Avoiding margaritas and chips with salsa is not an option, I'm sorry.

I was reading the Biggest Loser website last night on how to survive eating out at restaurants. I was dismayed when they suggested avoiding the chips and basically any tortillas. Their solution for everything seems to be "make it into a salad." They even recommended avoiding guacamole! Again, not an option for me. And avocado is so good for you!

I do not have any magic solutions, but I do have some tips. I have not decided yet if I will follow these because Cinco de Mayo is only once a year, after all. However, it is easy to justify a reason to overdo it any day of the week, I've found. I need to mentally prepare myself for it being my sole responsbility to moderate myself. My husband seems to have an innate ability to be moderate with food, and on the off chance that he is not on this particular day, it will not have the least affect on his waistline or self esteem.

First of all, decide prior to going, whether it will be a one or two margarita kind of night. It is much easier to order a second after the first one has already made it's way through your brain. Deciding ahead of time can take the responsibility off your somewhat-alcohol-muddled mind. If they automatically bring out chips, decide how many you will eat and put them on your plate. It is too easy to mindlessly go back to the basket chip after chip. While you're eating them, try to pay attention to the taste and the enjoyment they give. Take breaks between the chips, sip your drink, breathe deeply. Check in with yourself a few times while eating. Are you breathing at a normal rate? Are you scarfing or savoring the food?

When you get your entree, it may be a good idea to put half of it in a to-go box right away. Chances are, you're not starving by this point because of the chips and margarita. You could save this food for lunch tomorrow or even a snack later. It is better to split up meals into smaller portions as opposed to gorging yourself. When I am eating Mexican food, I try to avoid eating every last piece of tortilla and if there's a side of rice, I usually avoid it. At least in my opinion, the cheesy beans, guacamole, and salsa are the best parts. Decide for yourself, what are your priority foods and how do you best enjoy them? Have fun!

The Dreaded Yearly Check Up

I am not sure why I view it with such trepidation - I've never had a particularly bad experience or menacing news from my doctor- but I still would prefer to not go. The visit always involves something uncomfortable and violating, which we are taught to view as necessary to monitor our health...and I am not just talking about the physical part of the exam.

The first step in the appointment is to get weighed. No comments are made about my weight...it is jotted down quickly and we move on to get my height. Yes, I am still short. That has not changed in the last year. My blood pressure and temperature are measured, and I appreciate that the nurse tells me what these are and that they are normal.

When the doctor finally comes in she asks me how I have been eating, drinking, and exercising, even though I already wrote these pieces of information on the yearly update form when I first arrived. I do not know if I am projecting, but I get the impression that my doctor is hoping I have no concerns and that I just say I'm being healthy. Don't get me wrong, I like my doctor. She doesn't pry too much and is matter of fact about what she does. It is possible that some people feel more able to tell their doctors when something is concerning or that they need help with their eating or exercising. I do not, however, feel that able to share this with someone who I see once a year and I know is in a hurry to get to her next patient.

I thought about this and realize that for a lot of people the primary care doctor is the only regular access to someone who may be able to help in this area. That is what your doctor is there for! So forget about the other patients that may be waiting and look out for yourself. Ask for a referral to someone who may be more able to spend the time with you or ask your doctor what she knows. My visit next year may be longer, but at least I will have more control in what occurs.